Bill :
Rich,
Difficult subject. When my wife died, I played guitar that same day "for her." Guitar was always my refuge. I played a good bit after she died, writing songs for her (ones I can't even remember now, as I did not record any of them), and just doing something to keep my mind busy. Interestingly, I didn't pick all that much when we were married ... I didn't "need" the guitar then (not like I did before we were married).
But, when Buster B. died, I laid my guitar aside and didn't pick a note for 8 months or so (March until the end of December). Chet had died. Jerry had. My Dad had. Now Buster. I kinda looked at as "what's the point? I'll never get to play with my heroes, so why play?"
Year before last I recorded a lot of tunes (close to a hundred in a year), and later took down about 20 of them. Last year and tis year have been very different. I play once every couple of months. Maybe. I guess we just go through different phases in life. After recording the tune I wrote for Richard Smith, I've almost felt like getting back into picking again, and have it in mind to record a couple of tunes. I suspect that I would go back into hibernation after that, though.
I guess the only thing I've really learned from this life of playing sometimes and not others is that you have to play for yourself. You have to play because something inside of you needs it. At this point in my life, I don't need it the way I have at other times. That could change, I suppose, but the point is we have to play for ourselves. I hope you get to that point, Rich, where, for relaxation or challenge or expression of pain or love or whatever, you play.
Best
Bruce